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It could have started with a new type of music. Maybe it was a book, a certain website, a new set of friends. Someone you love was taking a deep dive into politics in a way they hadn’t before. You weren’t sure how to handle those points where you seemed to disagree.

But at some point you began worrying that this newfound interest became more extreme. Now the beliefs were turning angry, absolute, and violent. Your loved one has sided with white supremacists.

Last year, more than half of the calls for help to Life After Hate were from concerned family and friends. While violent far-right extremism is a growing problem throughout the U.S., people can feel blindsided by a loved one’s involvement.

The good news is that families are at the core of helping individuals build new lives away from extremist and racist ideologies. They can be a major source of motivation for people contemplating change. This is why we’ve created a guide for family and friends to know what they can do when a loved one sides with white supremacists. The best strategy is to focus less on the beliefs and more on what’s happening in the background. The techniques outlined in this guide are effective at starting—and maintaining—conversations. We encourage families and friends to remain involved to maximize the likelihood that the individual will recognize pathways to exit.

But please seek help if you ever feel unsafe, or if you suspect others are in harm’s way.